A return from silence. A whisper toward home.

Dear God,

Hello again. It’s been a while. One minute I was walking with you and the next I had turned myself in so many circles I didn’t know which way was straight anymore. I walked away from you unintentionally, but I stayed in the little home I carved myself purposely. I filled it with all the forms of comfort I had found. Anything that would keep the pain at bay. I had to have a lot. I had to replenish a lot too. These placeholders are nothing compared to You. I know that. Yet, for some reason, I have yet to find my way back. I have yet to climb the wall I built so quickly. A wall built in fear of staring Your fire in the face, fear of feeling the scorch on my back, fear of hearing the disappointment in Your voice. I knew I would have to face it eventually. But I just needed to rest for a while. I was so tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of fighting. Tired of myself. I needed an escape. I should have ran to You. I should have listened to You speak truth over me. I should have, I know. But I didn’t. I ran to that little home I carved in the world. The one full of stuff. None of which actually helped me. So here I am, walking back towards the light. Full of regret, sorrow, and shame. Yet, still walking. Continually testing the waters as I tread deeper into You. Into Your presence. Pleading that You will accept me once again. Praying that Your love really is unconditional. Hoping and believing that You will actually heal me. Begging that Your restoration will provide me with peace. Here I am God. Broken. Grief stricken. Impure. Yet, here. Please meet me in this place. 

Your Daughter,

Learning to be truly Yours